Ready, Set, Not Yet…

*Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. I am just a normal personal struggling with infertility trying to share experiences in hopes it may help another momma to be*

Coping with something privately works for some, and in some ways it worked for me. However, when I began to open up about our struggles to close friends, family members and co-workers I began to see just how common infertility really was. Just in my small group of friends, there was a handful of people going through roughly the same thing. And it was a close friend that recommended I see her doctor for a few months. When she first mentioned this, I just wasn’t ready. Being ready isn’t a financial thing, a mental thing, or a physical thing. It’s all of that and more, especially when you did it all backwards. For lack of better terms, I had PTSD when it came to fertility doctors, and I still do. I still cringe when I think back to our last experience. I’m not sure I mentioned this in the post, but we never did go back to that first doctor. We received the negative result and that was it; I never called again, I never went again. I couldn’t. So, the thought of going back to any kind of fertility doctor or even an OBGYN for that matter was hard! Maybe it’s a bit dramatic, but when it brings back so much pain… I can’t help it.

After about 4 or 5 months of considering the doctor my friend recommended, I finally mustered up the courage to call. On August 29, 2017 I had my first appointment with the new doctor. My friend was right; she was the SWEETEST and she calmed all my nerves. She let us know that we would have to run some blood work so she could see where to start. Now, mind you, this blood work is extremely specific, down to the exact day in my cycle, which meant it needed to be drawn 9/8/17. If you live in Florida, you may remember that Hurricane Irma hit us in early September 2017. Yes, I know…perfect timing, right? To say I was a little bit stressed would be an understatement. On Thursday 9/7/17 when every place began shutting down in preparation for the storm, I called my doctor first thing in the morning and they said I could still come in that day to get my blood drawn. Thank goodness!

When reviewing my results, the Doctor shared that my progesterone level was low, which was a surprise to me because the first Specialist never mentioned this to us. My doctor advised that she wanted to see the level no lower than 10, and it was a 6.6. She stated it was still okay and that people can conceive at this number but she would prefer it to be higher. Without hesitation, she started me on prescription medication Clomid. The first month my progesterone levels dropped to a 6.0 and I began to feel defeated. She however kept a positive outlook and informed me there was another medicine to try. After just one month on Clomid, she took me off and started me on another prescription medication, Femara.

Starting Femara marked the third month that I had been seeing this Doctor. I went into this second attempt knowing I had to be patient, and knowing this wasn’t going to have an immediate result. Having a friend go through it, I knew it would take time, which helped keep my nerves at bay. It took her 8 months with each pregnancy, to conceive on the Femara, so I knew 3 months was nothing to worry about.

We received the results for my first Femara blood work and my progesterone level had risen to a 9.4. I was ecstatic. It was working! The doctor wanted to continue with the Femara, but unfortunately those numbers did not last long. After 2 months on Femara my progesterone level dropped to 7.7, and the next month it dropped to a 5.4. The doctor then advised that I stop the medication. At this point, the doctor suggested that my husband get checked again with a Urologist. As I mentioned in my last post, his results all came back perfect. Then she said what I had been dreading, “at this point there’s not much more I can do but refer you to our specialist.” I haven’t been back.

Unfortunately, I’m still not ready to see a specialist again. I’m not financially ready. I’m not mentally ready. I’m just not ready. If I could do it over again, I would have listened to every bit of my advice in my previous post (Hindsight’s 20/20), but I can’t. So, until the day I am ready, we will continue living our lives and pray our miracle comes.

-Dani

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