**I am not a Doctor; I am not a specialist regarding depression or its symptoms. These are simply my experiences with it. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, please reach out to the crisis hotline.**
Ever feel like you’re in a bad mood for no reason? Someone says the nicest thing, and you just want to roll your eyes? And you can’t put your finger on why? This was happening all too often for me and looking back now I would tell you that I had begun to feel depressed. When it came to infertility, every thought of negative pregnancy tests, Facebook pregnancy announcements, or why I wasn’t a mother yet caused me to sink deeper into a hole that I didn’t know I would ever be able to get out of. But thankfully, as I have stated in previous posts, I have been blessed with amazing family and friends to support myself and husband during that time.
Unfortunately, I have recently felt myself falling back into this clouded mindset. Struggling to become pregnant is one of the most difficult mental games I have ever faced. The ups and downs that come with it, are exhausting. I am far from a perfect person, so let me be honest with you. I have been slacking in my diet, I have been mentally exhausted, and I have been struggling (badly) to keep myself from going to that “clouded” mindset. I have once again, allowed infertility to control me for the past 2 months.
I am guilty, once again, of not speaking up about it. However, because of the amazing family and friends I have (without them even knowing it) they have kept me going. From constantly planning things on the weekend, to playing soccer, or just reaching out. Because of them, I am pushing through it.
In addition to our amazing support system, my husband and I recently went on vacation. It was just the refresher I needed. And so, I returned from our vacation on Thursday and on Friday made an appointment with a fertility doctor.
To those of you who didn’t even realize you were helping me, THANK YOU!